


Expectations

by SoulOfAFangirl684



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Expectations, Gen, Hand-me-down names, Harry Potter Next Generation, Identity Issues, Internal Conflict, One-Shot, Ordinary Days, Pressure, Scorpius Malfoy & Albus Severus Potter Friendship, Summer Vacation, drabble-ish, mostly just a lot of angst, no real resolution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-25 19:57:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16204595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoulOfAFangirl684/pseuds/SoulOfAFangirl684
Summary: Sometimes it bothers James that his life has already been planned out for him.





	Expectations

**Author's Note:**

> Usually, I'd call a one-shot that doesn't really go anywhere a drabble. But I feel like this one is just a little too long and drawn-out to consider it as such. Even if nothing gets resolved…
> 
> Just for a little background, in this fic, James and Fred are about to start their 5th year, Scorpius, Albus, and Rose their 3rd, and Hugo and Lily are getting ready to start their first year at Hogwarts.

Something was wrong. Not that anyone would have ever guessed anything was out of place, looking in from the outside. The sun was shining, laughter could be heard elsewhere in the house, and the last day of summer vacation was being enjoyed by all… for the most part.

James Sirius Potter was feeling sorely out of character, and just that thought brought a bitter, almost disgusted expression to his face. No one should ever be able to be out of character. Like they were some fictional creation. 'Out of character' suggested that there were already set guidelines for someone to follow. Real people weren't one-dimensional like that! No matter how they acted, they couldn't be out of character if they were just being themselves, reacting as they thought they should.

Unless you were James Sirius Potter. One of the few people on the planet who actually _did_ have guidelines to refer to.

He forced himself to sit back and take a deep breath. He was ranting at himself like a madman.

Outside his window, James had a clear view of his younger brother, his cousin, and Scorpius Malfoy sitting in a triangle-like formation on the lawn. The three were an odd group. In his mind, Rose's serious, studious nature was wasted on her two best friends. Albus and Scorpius weren't the type that needed to be kept in line. The two balanced each other out. Scorpius was grounded where Al was often dreamy and oblivious. Albus was clever where his friend was logical. And they were both surprisingly loyal.

Well, 'surprisingly' in James's mind. The oldest of Harry's children had not always been so fond of Scorpius, but the young Malfoy had proven himself. Draco's son put up with a lot for befriending Gryffindors, but in the past two years Scorpius had not turned his back on Rose and Albus or abused that friendship once.

It may have been an odd sort of friendship that had defied all expectations, but at least the three had the freedom to do so.

Speaking of, James could hear his mother and Aunt Hermione in the kitchen while his father and Draco Malfoy had a somewhat awkward, but not unpleasant, conversation at the table. James hadn't been the only one to have to get used to the idea of Scorpius and Albus becoming friends. Somewhere else in the house, Lily and Hugo were sure to be discussing the start of their long-awaited first year at Hogwarts. In fact, it was likely that James was the only one _not_ thinking about school.

He felt _free_ during the summer holidays, for more reasons than just the obvious ones. When he was at Hogwarts, interacting with his peers, everyone _expected_ something from him. And he was sick of it.

Early on, Albus and Scorpius's friendship had been a fragile experiment. The past animosity between their fathers was no secret, and the two had subjected themselves to frequent spats in the beginning. Luckily, none of these arguments had ever driven them apart, and now James doubted anything ever would.

Once, Albus had commented on how unique Scorpius's name was. His new friend was immediately on the defensive, but Al hadn't said it to be mean or rude. James's brother could just be a little tactless sometimes.

But it had gotten him thinking, and this particular argument had stayed with him. James decided, ultimately, that it was better to have an original, bizarre name than it was to be named after someone. There was just too much baggage attached to a hand-me-down name.

James himself had had a much more predictable first year. He'd quickly ceased being a nonentity at school. He and Fred Weasley, who was both his cousin and his best friend, had earned a reputation for being troublemakers. The pair accomplished pranks as first years that seventh years on their last legs of school wouldn't dare try.

The two quickly rose up the social ladder, and while James enjoyed the popularity, he didn't revel in it like his cousin did. He enjoyed the attention and how being so well-liked had helped secure him a spot on the Gryffindor quidditch team when he was just a second year. (Of course, it wasn't all a popularity contest. He was a damn good Chaser and passionate about the sport.)

When James and Fred had first started causing trouble, before they'd mastered the art of not getting caught, the headmistress had called both of their parents in for a conference. McGonagall had known the Potter and Weasley families for a long time, and James suspected she was trying to head something off before it could truly take form. Unfortunately for McGonagall, anyone could have told her it was already too late for an intervention.

It wasn't the stern lecture McGonagall had given them or the exasperated look on his mother's face that James remembered most about that day. What stuck most in his mind was the look on his father's face. Harry had done his part to make his expression one of disapproval, but in his eyes was the tiny sparkle of pride.

At that moment, it was like everything had just been… _right_. And James had been happy.

Now he wasn't so sure.

Lately, James had begun to wonder if who he really was and who everyone else seemed to think he was was the same person. He'd become painfully aware that a lot of his older teachers saw him as the living clone of the first James Potter in every way. There were certainly a lot of similarities. (Similarities that he'd been proud of until now.) But was he that way due to a coincidence of nature and genetics, or had his parents made him that way?

It was a disturbing thought. But was it unfounded?

Sitting on his bed, backed up to the wall, James now brought his knees up to his chest. He rested his forehead there, suddenly too exhausted to even begin to think this through. His parents still loved him… that had to count for something, right? But what would they do if he suddenly started acting completely different? Would their feelings change? It hurt to think about it.

 _It's not such a big deal_ , he thought, pushing the idea away.

But it still felt like he was losing a battle.

**Author's Note:**

> You would be surprised how many angsty, identity crisis fics I write (or at least start to write) and end up not publishing.


End file.
